So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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