So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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