I accidentally burped into my bong.
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
Four minutes until I can fart!
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Randomize
