She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
Farmville is her only friend.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
