I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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