In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
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