Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize