Im at strip club and am horny
I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
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