I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
