Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Randomize