More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize