Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
