exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
