Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize
