It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
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