So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
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