Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
