Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
Randomize
