im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
