He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
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