Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
i drank out of a bidet.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
