i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Randomize
