This girl is more easily done than said...
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
