No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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