Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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