3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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