Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
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