Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Randomize
