I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize
