It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
