The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
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