Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
