sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
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