he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
