i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
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