I feel like abortions should bother me more
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
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