Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
