she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
Randomize
