3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
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