how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
