sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Randomize
