i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
