Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
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