a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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