Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
Someone shattered a urinal.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
