If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
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