shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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