she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize
