She said her name was "party"
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Randomize
