break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
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