she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Randomize
