I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
this hospital has no fireball
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Randomize
