There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
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