So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
