hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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