i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
