we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Randomize
