I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
