i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
