i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
