I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
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